Selasa, Mei 16, 2006

Thirty lines to make you smile

  • My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
  • I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
  • I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
  • Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
  • I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
  • Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
  • You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
  • Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.
  • Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
  • I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing.
  • Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
  • NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
  • God must love stupid people; He made so many.
  • The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
  • Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
  • Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
  • Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
  • Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
  • Procrastinate Now!
  • I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
  • A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
  • A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
  • Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
  • They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
  • He who dies with the most toys is still dead.
  • A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
  • Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
  • The trouble with life is there's no background music.
  • The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.
  • I smile because I don't know what is going on.'

Related post: , , , ,

Tiada ulasan:

Catat Ulasan