Customer vs Helpdesk

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.  

Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?  

Customer: Yes, sure, nothing happens, it must be really stuck.  

Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note  

Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet...it's still on my desk... sorry.

--

Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.  

Customer: Is that your left or my left?  

--

Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?  

Male customer: Hello... I can't print.  

Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and.....  

Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates damn it !  

--

Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print.  

Every time I try it says 'Can't find printer'.  

I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the  

monitor, but the computer still says it can't find it...  

--

Customer: I have problems printing in red ...  

Helpdesk: Do you have a colour printer?  

Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.  

--

Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?  

Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.  

--

Helpdesk: And now hit F8.  

Customer: It's not working.  

Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly?  

Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's happening.  

-- 

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.  

Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?  

Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.  

Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.  

Customer: OK  

Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?  

Customer: Yes  

Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?  

Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah ... that one does work!  

--

Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a Capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.  

Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?  

--

A customer couldn't get on the Internet: -  

Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?  

Customer: Yes I'm sure. I watched my colleague do it.  

Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?  

Customer: Five stars.  

--

Helpdesk: What anti-virus program do you use?  

Customer: Netscape.  

Helpdesk: That's not an anti-virus program.  

Customer: Oh, sorry ... Internet Explorer.  

--

Customer: I have a huge problem.  

A friend has placed screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears !  

-- 

Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech Support, may I help you?  

Old woman: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you.  

Can You please tell me how long it will take before you can help me?  

Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem?  

Old woman: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4 hours ago.  

Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me?  

--

Helpdesk: How may I help you?  

Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.  

Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?  

Customer: Well, I have the letter " a ", but how do I get the circle around it?